Friday, September 20, 2013

Kicking Ass!

So, I've been working out at the gym regularly now for several months. And, I've seen some pretty positive results. My trainer convinced me to sign up for this 90 day body transformation challenge at the gym. I just have to transform my body into a super lean fat burning muscle machine and I will be rewarded with $10,000 & a trip to Vegas.
Now, this kind of payout really turns me from a major gym whiner into a competitive lifter!  
I am in.  
I only signed up a week before the challenge started and was already markedly leaner than when I joined the gym in April. So, my strategy was to beef up before the initial weigh in. It was kind of the greatest week of my life!  I ate fast food regularly. And cookies, chips, Auntie Anne's pretzels.  It was glorious. It worked too. My body fat percentage went up a little. 
Now, I am completely paleo. Nearly 100% of the time. And, honestly, it was rough for a while. I had major hunger rages. And, I mean homicidal, "feed me right fucking now!", hunger rages. I wanted some cookies so bad!  And, it was really pissing me off. But, I made it through that phase and managed to refrain from murdering anyone. 
2 weeks into the challenge I checked the leaderboards. I was in the top spot for my local gym, but hadn't even broken into the top 100 nationally. (I'm still convinced there's some cheating going on there.  Some people lost 38% body fat in 2 weeks. I don't believe it.) 
But, I checked my stats today. I broke into the top 100!!!  I am #53!  
This means that I only have to sabotage 52 people & I win!  That's only 52 deep dish pizzas & 52 Oreo cookie blizzards!  I know what the hunger rages have done to me so I'm sure that there are 52 other people out there living right on the edge. Maybe some anonymous cookie trays will be delivered to their homes for the next several weeks. Heh heh heh. 
Cookie deprivation brings out my evil side. 
On a cookie side note: 
If you are wanting cookies, but you are on a paleo diet, you can safely make these and you will not want any.

Cotton Candy Cookies. They sounded like something weird the kids might like. Turns out, they are not very delicious at all. They will however, make your entire house along with whatever clothing you are wearing, smell like cotton candy for the rest of the day. Yuck.

This is the remains of my alternative snack. It still wasn't satisfying. 

But, whatever.  I can eat whatever I want while I'm relaxing in Vegas!

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