Made me smile

After grumbling about all the winter crap, this brightened my day.

:)

F-ing Winter!

I try to like winter.  But, I can't.  I hate it.  I hate having to wear a bulky winter coat.  I hate scraping car windows.  I hate slippery ice.  I hate the blinding snow.  I hate it all.  So, I'm not trying anymore. 

Our first snowstorm blew through here Wednesday.  It hit just as I had to pick up the kids.  Perfect.  Actually, that part wasn't too bad.  I managed to make it home before it got too crappy out.  Then we got to watch the snow come down.  That's fun for about 3 whole minutes.  Then we realized that we were all going to be trapped in the house with each other.  So we quickly flung ourselves in the far corners of the house, each with our own digital device for entertainment. 

The schools called and informed us that the kids both had a snow day!  The good news here is that I wouldn't have to get up at 3am to begin digging out my car.  (See, I can look on the bright side.)  But the dang blowy winds and heavy ass snow started making the lights flicker and at about 11pm, the internet went out.  Kids today are at a complete loss without the internet.  For them, snow days = up as late as I want days.  There's not much to do at night wtihout internet access, so movies were started and all were asleep by 11:30pm.  Mostly because they wore themselves out complaining about the internet service and stupid snow storms.

Today, I had to go deal with the driveway.  With a shovel.  Snowblower pooped out after about 4 passes.  And that mother is hard to maneuver.  It's better than shoveling, but not by much. 

This is what I was dealing with for starters.   The snow just outside of the picture was drifted up to about a foot deep.  A foot of heavy slushy snow.

 This was after hours of work (and much grumbling from a very grumpy teenager, who told me that doing English homework is better than doing this crap.  I have to agree.)  The snow geese were honking overhead the entire time we were shoveling.  This should have been endearing and cute, but I felt fairly certain that one was going to poop on my head. 

So after all of this winter wonderland fun, I have windburned cheeks and chapped lips.  And the damn dog keeps tracking snow all through the house.  Papaw is singing christmas carols all through the house with his own lyrics added. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
In my underwear
La la la la la

I have added an ATV with a snow plow attachment to my Christmas list.  It's a late addition, but I'm hopeful that Santa reads my blog.

10 days...

I know the feeling.

Fancy That...

We got our first Fancy subscription box today.  Very exciting!!  If you haven't been there, you must.  There's tons of cool stuff to be found.

 The box was pretty big.  

Our loot:

• A pop phone.  This is very fun.  I'll definitely be embarrassing the kids while walking around the mall using this.
• Snow globe salt & pepper shakers.  They have bears inside of them.  Supr cool.
• F in Exams book.  We actually already have this book, but it's a fun read.
• Mustache bandaids.  These will be saved for only very special boo-boos.
• Sparq stones.  Basically, rock ice cubes.  Neat, but I'm not sure if I'll use them.  Might have to gift these to someone who might.
• Silver fingernail polish.  
• And, my favorite item:  Pixel glasses.

My dad looks pretty sharp in those glasses.

I love Fancy!  Can't wait til next month!

Personality Test

I just took a personality test.  I'm an INFP.  That means I'm an Idealist.

Interesting. 

People like me include Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, Harry Potter author, J.K. Rowling, Lord of the Rings author, J.R.R. Tolkien, actress and activist Audrey Hepburn, Princess Diana, and co-founder of this personality test, Isabel Briggs Myers. 

La la la la la....

This is so true...

Halloween Bummer

This is the first year that I didn't have a kid having a Halloween party at school.  They are too old.

Which, of course, means that I am getting too old.

Only Savannah is going trick or treating.  With a friend.  I'm not invited.  :(

So, I'm sitting at home for the first time in 14 years on Halloween with nothing to do.

Then I remembered -- David Sedaris is performing in Lincoln tonight.  I called.  There is a ticket available for a singleton (like myself) IN THE FRONT ROW!

Guess what?  I can't get there in time.  :(

So, it's a Halloween Bummer.

Guerrilla Knitting

I knit and crochet.  For fun.

And, I'm not a granny.

So, I've signed up to become a guerrilla knitter.  Mostly because the idea of being a guerrilla knitter is hilarious to me.

There is a group in LA, known as Yarn Bombing Los Angeles, that has been invited to cover the entire exterior facade of the Craft and Folk Art Museum in granny squares.    

I kind of wish this was something that was planned and the museum didn't invite the group to do this.  The idea of someone showing up to work in the morning at the museum they'd just left the day before, only to discover it's covered in granny squares.  

That would be awesome!

But, anyway.   I'm going to be a part of it.  And it will still be awesome.

Post Book Blahs

I've just finished reading a great book.  Mr. Penumbra's 24 Hour Bookstore: A Novel by Robin Sloan.  I loved it.  It was the perfect book at the perfect time for me.  A tech-y mystery set in San Francisco all revolving around a 24 hour bookstore.  I highly recommend it.

But, now I've got the post book blahs.  This happens whenever I read a book that totally sucks me in.  I don't want to leave that world and now nothing else appeals to me.

It's a bummer.

But, I have to get over it.  Because today is a special day.  A day that I didn't even know was special.

It's Savannah's half birthday!

She got a tootsie pop with a candle in it.  And a tiny rainbow in the sky.

I think that rocks.

Brains!

We've become hooked on the Walking Dead. We watched the first 2 seasons on Netflix and now we make no plans for Sunday nights so we can watch season 3. Thanks to this zombie obsession my brains r now in great danger. This is what snuck up on me tonight.

Crap.

Nerd Speak

My daughter's school club took a trip to the pumpkin patch today. The high was 42 degrees. She refused to wear a coat. We argued, she won. (I knew if I forced her, she'd just leave it on the bus anyway. Whatever.)
So my mom says this morning, when Savannah appears in her lightweight fleece top, "She's going to be sick tomorrow."

Not cool.

She just put the mom curse on her.

In the end the pumpkin patch was very fun & she didn't freeze at all. (or she's not admitting to it)
So I sent my sister a text about it.

Haha.  

BTW, The Hobbit is coming in December!!  

Bad Example?

Today my daughter's school was having a "Dress For Success" day. She showed me a picture of a girl dressed in a business suit.

What did she wear? A white tank top, pink skirt over lace trimmed shorts, black sequined suspenders & a black necktie.

"Aren't you supposed to dress like you would for work?" I asked her.
"Yep."

Hmmmm.
I think I may not be setting the right example for her.

I'm reexamining my work wardrobe.

Georgie Girl.

I'm 37.  I'm single.  I live with my parents.  I've come to the realization that I might just be the female George Costanza.  We've got some similarities.  There's no denying it.  So, I've decided to own it. 

I am George Costanza.

Winning It

We had some excitement in our house yesterday.  Apparently my nieces were watching Minute to Win It the day before and a surprising home video challenge appeared on the show.  It was my kids!!!

We had made a video nearly 3 years ago of the "Don't Blow the Joker" challenge and posted it on YouTube.  After it had been up for a little bit, we were contacted via email by Minute to Win It asking if they could put our video on the show, which I of course agreed to.  The kids were very excited.

So, we watched the show religiously for the rest of that first season.  Our clip was never on.  Then we watched the entire second season.  Again, our clip was never on.  WTF?

Whatever.  Bummer.  We never thought of it again.
Until yesterday.  When the kids were informed that they had become celebrities and they didn't even know it.  The clip is on the Minute To Win It website and the nieces sent Savannah a picture of their TV screen when their video was aired.  AWESOME!

Here is the clip:


The best part about the clip is that when I recorded it, I was watching an episode of Hoarders, which can be heard in the background.  :)

No New Ninja Moves

I went to a middle school family function tonight with my daughter.  They were going to be having a martial arts demonstration, anti-bully talk, and some free pizza.

I was going for the free pizza.  And to hopefully learn some ninja moves.  You know, important parenting stuff.

Unfortunately, the demonstration was not what I was hoping for.  I couldn't look at Savannah for the entire performance because it was taking every ounce of my strength to suppress the laughter that so was so desperately trying to escape out my mouth.  I knew that if I looked at her I was definitely going to embarrass myself and her.

Is it a sign of being a bad parent when you find yourself with your child at an anti-bullying presentation and all you can think about is how badly you want to take pictures to immediately post online and mock this dorky demonstration?  Probably.

So, as an exercise in self control, I left my phone in my purse and sat quietly through the demonstration.  I did not laugh or heckle the dorky martial art dancers.  ( I swear it was dancing.  None of their moves seemed menacing in any way.)  And, I did not snort kool-aid out my nose when I glanced over at Savannah when one kid's roundhouse kick sent his shoe flying across the stage.

I also did not learn any new ninja moves.  And Savannah did not learn how to confront a bully and karate chop him down.

But, we did get some free pizza.

Big Fat Pig

I found a pair of white capri pants near my laundry last weekend and they didn't belong to me.  I took them up to give them back to my mother and was told that those were her "big fat pig pants" and she was going to take them to Goodwill.

"Why are they your big fat pig pants?"
"I don't like the way they fit me and I feel like a big fat pig in them.  You can have them if you want."

Not exactly an great endorsement for the pants, but I was in the middle of a wardrobe crisis at that particular moment, so I snuck the big fat pig pants into the bathroom and tried them on.

Guess what?  They fit.  Kind of perfectly.

Hmmmm.

I wore them out of the bathroom and showed them to my 11 year old daughter.
"What do you think of my pants?"
"They are fine."
"Really?  I kind of like them, too."

She looks at me weird, obviously wondering why I am asking her about them.  So, I tell her.

"Mamaw says these are her 'big fat pig' pants and she was going to take them to Goodwill.  But, I tried them on and they fit me.  So, what do you think that means?"

Without missing a beat, she says, "You are a big fat pig," and giggles and leaves the room.

It's kind of true.  I have been prone to piggish-ness.  But, I'm most similar to the adorable kind as seen here:

I'm just one cute, cuddly, fat, piggy.  With some new white pants.  :)

Libraries can be Gross!

We frequently visit the local library.  Savannah devours books so quickly, that if we didn't I'd have to get a second job just to support her book habit.  But, luckily, the world has libraries and we know how to use them.

The other day my sister sends me a text that says:

I just picked up a library book to read and a tostito fell out of it.  It wasn't mine.

Gross, right?  But, I responded:

Savannah picked up a library book last night and a fingernail clipping fell out.  

In the gross contest, Savannah wins.

Here is the rest of the story.

She was soaking in the tub after her first afternoon of cross country training.  Her legs were sore so I recommended a long soak in the tub.  Take a book.  She loves to do this.  When she came out, she said something gross happened in there, but she didn't want to tell me about it because it was too disgusting.  Seriously, she said, too disgusting.

No way.  Come on.  Lay it on me.

Ok, she says, taking a deep, calming breath.  "I picked up my library book and something fell out of it.  Into the bath water.  I thought it was just a piece of paper, so I left it there.  And I stayed there in the bath with it.  But it started to bother me, so I picked it up to fling it into the trash.  AND IT WASN'T A PIECE OF PAPER!  IT WAS A FINGERNAIL CLIPPING!"  She shuddered at the memory.

Not only did she find a fingernail clipping in her library book, but she soaked in a tub with it, and then picked it up with her bare hand.

So, let me say here:  People, please, do not clip your fingernails or toenails over your open library books.  It's gross.

Just a Walk in the Park

In an attempt to improve my physical fitness, I have been walking everyday.  Every single day.  Step after step after step.  On a treadmill.  It's not a thrilling activity and I have to motivate myself by having a selection of audio-books or TV programs to watch to pass the time. (Currently it's Fifty Shades Darker or episodes of How I Met Your Mother)  I would walk outside regularly, but my body hates the outdoors during this time of year.  I'm allergic to it.  All of it.  But, tonight I decided to talk a walk on the wild-side and throw caution to the wind and walk this tiny gremlin outside.

Well, I had a second motive here.  Fillmore needed his toenails trimmed, but they are so darn sharp afterwards.  A long walk on the cement is the perfect doggy nail file.  The dog nail trimmers were in the car.  Why?  Because that is the most logical place to keep dog nail trimmers.  So, I used my key fob to unlock the car, which was parked in the street, and snuck out the door with a tiny dog under my arm.

Unfortunately, it seems that my walking workout has not yet increased my speed, because in the time it took me to get to my car, the alarm had reset.  I open the door and set off a symphony of honking.  Surprisingly, no one came running at the sound of the alarm to protect my car and the treasures contained within.  What is the point of car alarms again?

So, after a quick nail trimming, Fillmore and I set out.  He immediately began showing off his awesomeness by peeing on nearly every single blade of grass that we passed.  In doing so, he tripped me numerous times.  But, after a block and a half of stumbling and swearing, we got into a rhythm.  We made it all the way to the park before we encountered a ferocious beast disguised as a cute fluffy black dog named Sophie.  Sophie thought Fillmore should die a gruesome death.  Fillmore saw her coming, squared his shoulders, and said, "Bring it."  There was much snarling, leash wrestling, and ipod fumbling (save the dog or save the ipod?  it's a tough decision).  Apologies were exchanged and we moved on.

I reinserted my earbuds and cranked up Lady Gaga.  But, I can't hear anything else when I do that.  A runner snuck up on me and Fillmore attempted to amputate his ankles.  I was unprepared for this surprise attack and did not have a tight grip on the leash, so Fillmore had a little extra length at his advantage as he made his lunge.  This made the runner do an amusing hurdle like jump and earned me a scowl.  He's my 5 pound guard dog, what can I tell you?

We managed to make it out of the park without any bloodshed only to walk up on a police officer loading up his cruiser and about to head off to work.  Fillmore's fearsome growl was building in his belly and I could feel the vibration travel up the leash.  Crap!  This was a recipe for disaster.  I quickly picked him up to avoid spending a night in the slammer.  That was my signal to cut the walk short and we headed back home.

I'm back to treadmill walking tomorrow.

Winter Finally Arrives in February

We are experiencing our first major snow of the season today. And it's February! Luckily, it's also Saturday, so we're staying home. I still have to go out a few times to shovel off the back patio for our little Fillmore to be willing to go outside. But, I don't mind that. So, I've already planned out my indoor activities for the weekend. Crocheting, reading, movie watching, and game playing with the kids. We may have to add snowman making to that list.
On the crochet front, I've completed my granny stripe blanket (finally) and put a cute edging on it. I'm really happy with how it turned out.

And here is my latest project: A rainbow ripple pattern that I was planning to put up on etsy as a baby blanket, but Savannah is arguing that she should get to keep it. She's hard to turn down.

I've been hooked on this BBC show called Doc Martin that I've been watching on Netflix. So, I think I'll be finishing up that series today and maybe finishing up this ripple blanket. Then I have to choose an edging for it. I'll keep you posted.

A little Bieber Fever

Savannah got to perform with the dance team at the varsity basketball game!

Ripple Ripple Ripple

I had planned to make each of the kids a crocheted blanket for Christmas. I think I started working on Savannah's in early November.  I started getting worried when I wasn't even half way done by Thanksgiving.  I was carting this giant bag of yarn with me just about everywhere that I went.  I needed every spare moment to crochet.  And I was able to complete it.  About a week before Christmas. And it turned out fabulous!

I had to make Myles a fleece blanket in his school colors because there was no way to finish another crocheted blanket. Both kids are very happy with their gifts. 
Last weekend Savannah and I saw some ugly doll pillows.  I decided to make us some.

Pretty cute for ugly pillows.

New Years Bomb

Savannah spent the night at a friends house on new years eve.  When I picked her up the next day, she asked me when new years happens.  At midnight, I told her.
"Well, my friend's grandma said she let the little kids stay up for new  years until 11.  That's not new years."
"She probably meant they watched the New York new years on TV," I told her.
"So, is that what time the bomb drops?  At 11, not midnight?" she asked.
"The bomb?"
"Yes, mom.  The bomb.  Does it drop at 11 or 12?" she asked with great exasperation.
"Well, there is a time difference between here and New York City.  So, it's midnight there when it's 11 here." I explained.
"So, why don't they put the show on an hour later here, so that the bomb drops at midnight for everyone?"
"I guess it's because that show is done live," I told her and started to giggle. 
"WHAT?" she asked, giving me the look foretelling of the teenage attitude that is right around the corner.
"When the bomb drops in New York City at midnight there and 11 here, does the whole city blow up or just Times Square?"
She pondered that for a second. 
"Oh, I meant ball."
hee hee.

SQUEAKER! And the Post Christmas Trauma

For Christmas this year, Fillmore got what may be the very best Christmas present ever. A squeaker toy! He truly loves squeaker toys. With A Passion!! And he's got some incredible skills too.  Lucky for us, he is able to remove the plastic squeaker from nearly any squeaker toy in under an hour.  An hour is about the maximum amount of time a human can withstand the constant squeaking from these toys.  So, it works out perfectly. 

But, this year, something magical happened. Fillmore got a squeaker toy and seemed to be savoring the squeak. He laid out on the couch and just squeaked and squeaked. Strangely, thought, he didn't seem to be trying to destroy it like normal. Just SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!
Unfortunately for him, this was coupled with many other Christmas gifts being opened and assembled. So, in a fit of stress, I was forced to take the squeaker toy and put it up to maintain my sanity.
Fillmore was not pleased.
And to teach me a lesson, he chose to curl up and pout on a blanket I am currently crocheting. 

I felt sorry for him the next day and gave him his other squeaker toy.  (He got 2.)  And, due to the trauma he endured the previous day, he took that squeaker toy and tried to hide it from us.  He hid it behind the Christmas trees and then sat on the couch and keeping vigil over the toy.  After that spot became too risky, he went and retrieved his toy and tried putting it under some pillows and sat to watch it again.  But, as soon as someone sat on the couch, he had to find another safe hiding place. 
It was very funny to us, because he's never done this before.  It's always been procedure for him to rip open the toy, retrieve the squeaker, spread all stuffing from one end of the house to the other, and then play only with the little chewed up plastic squeaker. 
Day Three with this squeaker toy, and he was again trying to hide it under the tree.  I was able to grab my camera without drawing any attention from him and snapped a picture of him. 

As soon as the camera flashed, I was busted.

That afternoon, he finally ripped open the toy and got his squeaker out and I was not forced to put the squeaker toy up again.  (The first one hasn't been returned to him yet, though.  So, we still have another round of this to go.)  And, I'm still finding bits of stuffing around the house.