Secret Agent Teensie!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Crap! Crap! Double crap!
I was located somewhere near the middle of nowhere and not within walking distance of anything. I figured my options were to flag down the next trucker or to chug and lurch my way to town. I chose option 3, call dad.
He recommended I chug and lurch my way to our mechanics, if possible.
So, I did. All the while praising my car for each successful intersection we made it through.
"You can do it, little car. You can do it."
Once I arrived at the mechanics, I sat in the car for a minute rehearsing my performance to accurately describe what my car's problem was. I'm not sure why a car problem can only be accurate conveyed through a game of charades coupled with some Grammy worthy sound effects, but that's the way it is.
I left my keys with the mechanic, prayed for an inexpensive repair, and hopped into my dad's truck to be transported to work.
At the end of my work day, my dad was kind enough to pick me up and help me figure out how in the world I was going to get the kids picked up from school clear back in Arlington.
Well, surprise, surprise. My car repair was not only going to relatively inexpensive, but it was already done! Hooray.
Then, my dad told me that the mechanic wanted to know if I was single.
That's right. He thought I was really good lookin'. And wanted to know if I was available. And thought the best thing to do was ask my dad about me. Keep in mind that my mechanic is about the same age as my dad.
I was laughing about this with my sister later when she asked me, "Well, is he good looking?"
"Well, is he rich?"
"I don't think so."
He could, however, save me a lot of money in car repairs. This may require further contemplation.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Today, while I was peacefully reading a book, it seems our house was suddenly under attack. Fillmore raised the alert. We are currently at threat level orange!
Well, maybe not attack as much as squirrels are foraging around in our trees and yard for delicious nuts. And, if they can torment Fillmore during this process, all the better. And he hates those vermin skulking around his yard. And the squirrels love to flick their tails in his direction, just to taunt him.
Squirrels do have an evil streak. I think that's why I like them. They get quite irritated with us if we come out of the house forcing them to abandon their ground activities and flee to the trees. We often find ourselves being pelted with whatever the squirrels can get their little squirrel hands on to chuck in our direction. And, cussing us out, I'm sure. There is definitely a lot of unfriendly squirrel talk going on.
Anyway, Fillmore has a deep deep hatred for the squirrels and this is how my moronic dog lets us know that squirrel danger is upon us:
You can see at the end how concerned Boris is with this potential threat.
But it cost $35 and was made out of the crappiest costume material available. I thought, we could definitely make this for less than $35. (Of course, I forgot that my free time available for such a project was microscopic.) So, when Savannah's friend's mom sent me a message on Thursday asking if Savannah would like to spend the night at their house on Saturday and then go to the trick or treat event at the zoo on Sunday, I nearly had a panic attack. My main problem was that I couldn't find a jean skirt anywhere in the entire city that would make her costume any less expensive. Plus we were going to be cutting slits in it.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
She even brought the Keeping Quilt with her! I guess she takes the Meteor to the schools she visits for the kids to see as well. Very neat. She is going to be doing another presentation at the Omaha Public Library on Monday. I think Savannah will take her poster she made as her second grade project in to show to Patricia.
David Sedaris is coming on the 25th, too. So many authors! Yay! I'm going to be broke!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Savannah pulled a challenge card and had to choose a challenge to do. She chose to let someone write Goof on her face and sit that way for the next several turns. Since having your face written upon with lipstick is so fun, all future challenge cards were modified to contain a similar challenge. Here are the glorious results:
Now are you craving some candy corn?
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
He definitely loves the time spent with his friends in the dugout. Loves the snacks from the concession stand. Loves regaling us with his stories of wrongful calls by the umps and glorious plays made in the outfield.
I love how much joy he gets from the sport.
Unfortunately, what I seem to get from the sport is an unfortunate tan. I spent several days following his season opener two summers ago begging my family to take me to the burn unit at the hospital after receiving the worst sunburn of my life. And it left me with a beautiful tan line across the lower portion of my thighs that wouldn't fade until the following spring. Burn scar. I have learned to wear a hat because fine blonde hair doesn't protect the scalp from the sun. And it's extremely painful to blow dry your hair with a sunburned scalp. This year I felt like I'd gained some knowledge in the baseball season sunburn department, but still was left with those unfortunate burns on the small strips that didn't receive quite enough sunscreen.
I'm basically a red hot mess from May through July. And, this year Myles decided he wanted to play fall ball. I sat out in the cool fall air this past Sunday. The weather was really beautiful. Myles had a double header. Since I was prepared for the day to be cool, I wore long sleeves.
Guess what? Back of the hand sunburn.
The sun hates me.
The feeling is becoming mutual.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
"Damn it, Boris," I sleepily croaked. He never wakes me up this early whining like this so obviously something is up. And upon reaching the hallway we keep him penned up in, SOMETHING WAS UP. Thankfully, the smell was too overpowering, but the entire hallway and most of the lower portions of Boris were not pretty. So, outside he went.
While he ran loose outside (we have no fence and I wasn't going to touch him to hook him to his rope, and in his current state, he wasn't going anywhere anyway), I cleaned up the hallway and threw yet another load of poopy blankets into the washer. (We've already been dealing with this problem for the past 24 hours). So, I did some quick online research and cooked up some white rice for Boris to eat. As a thank you for this homemade delight at 4:45am, he promptly pooped all over the back porch. So he went back outside and I put my cleaning gloves back on.
I'm not sure what state the house will be in when I return to it this afternoon. I may have to just leave it and move on.
Reason #1 not to choose a Great Dane for a pet: intestinal maladies are the things of nightmares. A sick elephant could not produce a greater disaster. Also, that cute face over to the right...
well, it's a whole lot less cute at 4:30am when it's covered in poop.
Monday, July 19, 2010
I took the kids to the Omaha Farmers Market this past weekend. It was a trip that could have easily been a major mistake since the Omaha Farmers Market is held in a black top parking lot and I think the temperature was close to 88 degrees at 8am and there was about 900% humidity. But, we haven't been to the farmers market all summer, so we were going.
We got there and quickly found ourselves in a crowd of very sweaty people and we were quickly beginning to blend in. The kids were looking forward to the samples. (I was too.) We started off our quick tour of the market at a cheese vendors booth sampling several different varieties of cheese before moving on to the next table that was grilling meat. I sampled some breads and picked up a delicious sourdough baguette, most of which was quickly transported into my belly over the next 48 hours. I also bought a dozen peaches which will be made into pies. I even grabbed myself a cute little bunch of wildflowers.
Then we moved on to Erick's Enchiladas. They had enchilada samples out that the kids quickly grabbed up. I went for the salsa they had sitting out. They had green and red. I sampled the green. They have their own homemade fried flour tortilla chips used for dipping. Once that chip and salsa hit my tongue, the heavens opened up. My eyes may have rolled up into my head and I may have audibly moaned. So so yummy.
I usually won't buy any salsas from the farmer's markets because I like to make my own and I'm a tad picky about my salsas. Not too chunky, just enough spice, just enough salt. But, I've never made a green salsa before. So, this purchase was necessary. I, then, spent the rest of the weekend frying up pieces of flour tortillas to eat my salsa with. And, as an extra bonus, no one else in my house thinks the salsa is all that fantastic. IT'S ALL MINE!!!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
We went home with 5 toads and 2 frogs. She made up a little home for them and named them all (after the Twilight characters, by the way. Bella and Edward were the frogs because they are special.)
Unfortunately for me, I forgot that last summers' pet toads were a problem because I ended up having to buy crickets to feed them. And buying bugs is not high on my list of enjoyable expenses. And a bag full of live crickets on the passenger seat of my car does not improve my driving skills. I did end up buying crickets for these toads once, but was luckily able to talk Savannah into freeing the toads yesterday. This picture shows her happy face before we liberated them.
We walked up to a nearby grassy area near a creek that was full of bugs and Savannah let them go.
They seemed very happy and Savannah seemed happy about their future in their new home. They are likely going to grow into giant bullfrogs with all the bugs they will have available to them!
We had to take this shot through the front door because we were afraid to scare him off. He was watching us the whole time, though. Eventually, he did fly up into the tree in our yard.
We went out onto our front porch to watch him and he continued to watch us. We were calling him Hedwig. There were two of them living in our trees for a couple of weeks, but they have now moved on.
Then, thanks to all the rain we've been having this summer, we have a big crop of mushrooms popping up all over our yard. They started out looking like enlarged golf balls all over the yard, but if I could keep the kids from kicking them over, they opened up into HUGE mushrooms.
I think these giant mushrooms are really cool, so I took my camera outside to snap these pictures of them. (Before the kids kick them to smithereens.) But, while I was taking these pictures, I discovered something rather surprising. It seems that the mushrooms might also be the homes to some rather surprising guests. See if you can pick them out in the pictures.
Monday, May 10, 2010
This is an episode of Diners Drive-ins and Dives featuring Grinders, where Stacey and I ate lunch on our way to see Chelsea Handler. So so yummy. We had a pizza, which was delicious. And I cannot wait to go back. It's definitely added to my list of definite stops in KC.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Great, I thought. But, he hasn't really bitten her if she thinks it doesn't hurt. A short while later, she came to me with blood dripping down her hand. "MOM!!! Peanut bit me." He had bitten her and he bit her hard. We washed off her hand and had to sit on the couch for a little while because the sight of "so much" of her own blood made her nauseous. "He is NOT coming to show and tell." She told me.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
She wanted to take my homemade pretzels in to her classroom for her special birthday treat, and being the world's greatest mother, I could not deny her the birthday pretzels. Unfortunately, this meant that I would have to get up extra early on a work/school day and make pretzels. I figured that giving myself an entire extra hour for pretzel making would be plenty of time. Turns out it takes 3 hours from beginning to end to make a double batch of homemade pretzels. I was ready for a nap before we even got out the door. But, the pretzels were delicious and all of her classmates were treated to my awesome pretzels.
We were also shown some cute little pigs. They were completely adorable. And after all the kids were done saying "aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww", they were asked about what kinds of delicious meats come from pigs. There were shouts of "BACON" and "RIBS" and "PORK CHOPS", all the while they were putting their hands through the bars to touch the cute little piggies. After our little lesson in all the products that contain some kind of pork by-product, the class was treated to some ham. Once again, Savannah passed. I was well on my way to becoming a vegetarian.
This little field trip had ruined all of my delusions about my meat being delivered to the meat case at the grocery store by magic meat fairies. And all those cute cows and piggies live long happy lives out in those fields I pass by every day.
Monday, April 26, 2010
A few years ago, I had gone up to the baseball fields with Myles to pitch to him and give him a chance to practice his batting. That's when I learned that pitching is not my forte. I hit him with more pitches than he hit. So, when pitching to him in the front yard, I was fully prepared to suck at pitching again. However, when standing closer to Myles and throwing a wiffle ball, my accuracy was greatly improved. However, he has studied all of his major league heroes swings and tries to hit the ball 4 blocks down the road each time. I am completely convinced that I have an 11 year old Barry Bonds on my hands.
I pitched the very first pitch to him and he hit it. A mere nano second passed before I heard the whistle of the ball flying centimeters from my ear.
"MYLES!" I hollered at him. "Do not try to kill me!"
He just laughed and got ready for the next pitch. I threw the ball, and WHAP! The ball came flying directly back at me and smacked into my chest. HARD! I'm pretty sure there is still a wiffle ball imprint there. And let me tell you those suckers hurt. And I'd be lying if I told you that this particular wiffle ball line drive didn't bring tears to my eyes. But, I choked them back, ignored his laughter and suppressed my desire to hit him with the next pitch.
Savannah stepped up offering to pitch to him, but I was afraid she might end up decapitated.
"DO NOT HIT HER PITCHES AS HARD AS YOU CAN!" I warned him. Then I walked over to the front porch to sit down and try to regain a normal heart rhythm.
Savannah pitched the ball and, having learned from watching me, immediately hit the deck.
We continued on in this manner for a while. Pitch. Hit the deck. And repeat. I think it was an excellent method since Savannah never got hit.
Then, Savannah decided it was her turn to hit. This was going to be more my speed, I figured. I was wrong again. Once again I threw the ball and once again the ball came flying at the speed of light back at me, this time hitting me on the side of the head smashing my glasses into my nose.
"SAVANNAH!" I hollered again. "Are you guys trying to kill me?" Both of the kids were giggling again."I'll pitch to her, Mom," Myles said, regaining his composure.
I went over to the front porch to sit down and tend to my new concussion. I'm heading out to Scheels tomorrow to buy my self some protective gear. I'm thinking the full catcher's pads and helmet should do the trick. Otherwise, this will be my new look:
Thursday, April 15, 2010
(At what age do we stop calling our mother's in an emergency? Probably never. At least for me. And, luckily she still comes to my rescue every single time. Thanks Mama.)
Anyhow, I drove myself to work, feeling the stares of all my fellow drivers. "Holy crap! Look at her car! There's a feather sticking out of her windshield!" I would rather get attention for being so cute and driving such a cute car, not the pitying and questioning glances I was getting. Once at work, I could feel every tiny piece of glass that I had missed in my shoes. Step. Stab. Step. Stab.
On the bright side, with all of that glass all over me, I sparkle like Edward Cullen. Maybe I'll be mistaken for a vampire today. I always suspected that Edward and I were destined to be together.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
So, we took a video of Myles and Savannah doing the challenge side by side and posted it on YouTube. Here is the video:
After posting it last night, I received an email from someone who works for the show. They want to use the video on the show! Myles and Savannah are about to become famous!! We are now going to be attempting all of the challenges and posting videos. I'm recommending that they do a kids show.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Then, this morning, I finally finished (ok, started and finished) my peeps banner for Easter. It's only going to be able to be displayed for a week, but it turned out really cute. You can find the tutorial here.
I still can't draw this well. Maybe she'll give me some lessons. :)