Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives: Grinder's

This is an episode of Diners Drive-ins and Dives featuring Grinders, where Stacey and I ate lunch on our way to see Chelsea Handler. So so yummy. We had a pizza, which was delicious. And I cannot wait to go back. It's definitely added to my list of definite stops in KC.

24 Hours and Counting

Until my sister and I will be hanging with Chelsea Handler. We are going to travel down to Kansas City where Chelsea is doing a book signing and performance. I cannot wait.

Unfortunately for me, the universe is slightly less excited about my upcoming mini vacation.

Yesterday, I realized that the squeaking in my brakes may have grown into a full fledged grinding. Not good when said car is transporting us to our next celebrity event. Thankfully, my brother-in-law is going to look at them for me. (He's also watching all four kids this weekend and might be running for father / brother-in-law of the year.)

Today I woke up after a mere 4 1/2 hours of sleep to realize that Savannah has a field trip today. These ususally require a "sack lunch". The only sack lunch I could provide today would have consisted of the ribs I made for dinner last night and forgot to put into the fridge. I figured the chance of food poisoning was too great to risk and was forced to get the kids up early so we could run to the grocery store before school. They were less than thrilled to be woken up and told to "HURRY UP!"

I raced down to the kitchen to let the dogs out only to discover that the new container of vanilla ice cream that I had pulled out of the fridge last night to soften up had been forgotten and allowed to melt and seep all over the counter and underneath the microwave. CRAP!!

One entire roll of paper towels later, we were out the door. All 3 of us had a frown deeply etched on our faces.

After eating a doughnut, my mood improved. The universe may be trying to bring me down, but I will not be broken! Screw you universe! I am still super excited about the trip to see Chelsea Handler and will be posting updates, so stay tuned!! And if things continue to go this badly, I will be taking a bottle of Belvedere vodka with me (for Chelsea to sign and for self medication if necessary).

Introducing....

Peanut, the newest member of our family. He's a very cute little gray and white gerbil.

Savannah got him for her birthday last week. It was a very exciting day. We returned to our house on a Thursday night, after buying Peanut and all of the equipment he requires, only to realize that we were all starving. I had a manic mommy moment when I realized I had to cook a quick dinner, assemble a gerbil cage that was entirely too complicated, and put out 2 dogs that had been cooped up all day and had vomited all over the hallway they are penned up in. Oh, Joy!

I chose to tackle the insanely complicated gerbil cage assembly first, figuring that once the gerbil was safely housed in his actual cage I would feel better about cooking food nearby. He was patiently awaiting his new home while hunkering down in a small cardboard pet box. Maybe patiently is the wrong word since he was frantically scratching at the box and I was certain he was about to gnaw his way to freedom at any moment. I was quite certain that Savannah's birthday would not end happily if her new gerbil ended up on a glue trap in the basement.

45 minutes later, I could not figure out how to get one of the last two pieces on the cage. There was this small piece that just wouldn't fit in it's place. So I forced it. And broke it. Dang! Peanut now lives in a home that is partially held together by duct tape. Much like everything else in our house. Savannah wasn't pleased about my breaking the cage, but so far Peanut hasn't escaped and the duct tape is holding strong.

Savannah then set to loading up the cage with bedding, filling the food bowl and water bottle, and placing the chewing sticks. Finally Peanut has his home.

I was then able to cook dinner and feed our hungry bellies. And clean up a very nasty hallway. Two activities that go great together.

Savannah spent the rest of the night playing with her gerbil. She had her hand in that cage for a couple of hours petting Peanut. She was desperate to hold him. We had been warned that the gerbil hadn't been handled much yet and was very young. So, biting was likely.

"Mom, Peanut's bites don't even hurt!" Savannah came running to tell me. "He just nibbles a little bit.
Great, I thought. But, he hasn't really bitten her if she thinks it doesn't hurt. A short while later, she came to me with blood dripping down her hand. "MOM!!! Peanut bit me." He had bitten her and he bit her hard. We washed off her hand and had to sit on the couch for a little while because the sight of "so much" of her own blood made her nauseous. "He is NOT coming to show and tell." She told me.

By the time bedtime had rolled around Peanut had been mostly forgiven and allowed to move into Savannah's room. He has been living in there happily now for almost a week. We still have not successfully picked him up and are using a special rubberized glove to try to pet him with (for finger protection). He has amused us all by running like a lunatic in his exercise wheel. Unfortunately his favorite time to exercise is around 3am. This has forced Savannah to abandon her own room a couple of nights because of the huge racket he was making.

All in all, Peanut has been an exciting addition to our family. Savannah has been reading to him every day after school this week. He's the perfect captive audience.

I'm still determined to get a good picture of him. So far he's been incredibly camera shy.

Oh what a week!

This has been a very eventful week in our house. Savannah celebrated her 9th birthday on Thursday. I'm not sure how 9 years have flown by so quickly. She was just my little tiny baby a minute ago, I swear. But, nevertheless, she is officially 9 years old now. And what a cute 9 year old she is.

She wanted to take my homemade pretzels in to her classroom for her special birthday treat, and being the world's greatest mother, I could not deny her the birthday pretzels. Unfortunately, this meant that I would have to get up extra early on a work/school day and make pretzels. I figured that giving myself an entire extra hour for pretzel making would be plenty of time. Turns out it takes 3 hours from beginning to end to make a double batch of homemade pretzels. I was ready for a nap before we even got out the door. But, the pretzels were delicious and all of her classmates were treated to my awesome pretzels.

Then, on Friday, Savannah had her day at the farm field trip. I took the day off to go with her. We travelled all the way down to the Washington County Fairgrounds (this included a 2.5 minute bus ride to transport the kids the 4 block distance). Once there we were treated to a lesson in how a cow's stomach works. We learned about the 4 compartments and ruminant nutrition and how cow's diets are studied (for fattening them up, most likely) and then the class was served some all beef hot dogs. Savannah, who had been suppressing her gag reflex for the entire lesson in cow digestion, chose to pass on the hot dogs.

We were also shown some cute little pigs. They were completely adorable. And after all the kids were done saying "aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww", they were asked about what kinds of delicious meats come from pigs. There were shouts of "BACON" and "RIBS" and "PORK CHOPS", all the while they were putting their hands through the bars to touch the cute little piggies. After our little lesson in all the products that contain some kind of pork by-product, the class was treated to some ham. Once again, Savannah passed. I was well on my way to becoming a vegetarian.

This little field trip had ruined all of my delusions about my meat being delivered to the meat case at the grocery store by magic meat fairies. And all those cute cows and piggies live long happy lives out in those fields I pass by every day.

So, Savannah and I made ourselves feel better by spending the evening shopping for some cute new outfits, and bringing home some delicious broccoli beef, sesame chicken, and szechuan pork all provided by the meat fairies. We managed to gobble it all up.

Saturday was spent at the baseball complex. Myles had baseball pictures followed by a game. I had concession stand duty. This was Myles's first game of the season. He played second base and right field. And his team kicked some butt. These boys have endured some tough seasons in the past and have struggled to keep their spirits up. This year, their opening game was a shut out. 15 to nothing!! I had to watch as much of it as I could from the concession stand window, but Savannah and Papaw were taking some excellent pictures.

It was a great start to the season! All the boys came out of the dugout with smiles on their faces.

Tomorrow will be Savannah's birthday party with the family. And I'll be introducing everyone to our newest family member, Peanut. So, stay tuned. Another week of craziness is about to begin...

DUCK!!

I was outside with the kids the other day working on their baseball skills. Myles's baseball season is about to start and Savannah's class has been playing baseball in gym class. So, they wanted to show me how awesome they are. Myles is in the 6th grade now and is probably stronger than me. And, athletically speaking, I'm not so talented. We have a very strict wiffle ball policy at our house to hopefully eliminate the need to constantly replace windows on our house as well as the neighbors' houses. And since I have been operating under the delusion that wiffle balls will not break our windows and playing with the kids would not result in my death or disfiguration.

A few years ago, I had gone up to the baseball fields with Myles to pitch to him and give him a chance to practice his batting. That's when I learned that pitching is not my forte. I hit him with more pitches than he hit. So, when pitching to him in the front yard, I was fully prepared to suck at pitching again. However, when standing closer to Myles and throwing a wiffle ball, my accuracy was greatly improved. However, he has studied all of his major league heroes swings and tries to hit the ball 4 blocks down the road each time. I am completely convinced that I have an 11 year old Barry Bonds on my hands.

I pitched the very first pitch to him and he hit it. A mere nano second passed before I heard the whistle of the ball flying centimeters from my ear.

"MYLES!" I hollered at him. "Do not try to kill me!"

He just laughed and got ready for the next pitch. I threw the ball, and WHAP! The ball came flying directly back at me and smacked into my chest. HARD! I'm pretty sure there is still a wiffle ball imprint there. And let me tell you those suckers hurt. And I'd be lying if I told you that this particular wiffle ball line drive didn't bring tears to my eyes. But, I choked them back, ignored his laughter and suppressed my desire to hit him with the next pitch.


Savannah stepped up offering to pitch to him, but I was afraid she might end up decapitated.


"DO NOT HIT HER PITCHES AS HARD AS YOU CAN!" I warned him. Then I walked over to the front porch to sit down and try to regain a normal heart rhythm.


Savannah pitched the ball and, having learned from watching me, immediately hit the deck.

We continued on in this manner for a while. Pitch. Hit the deck. And repeat. I think it was an excellent method since Savannah never got hit.

Then, Savannah decided it was her turn to hit. This was going to be more my speed, I figured. I was wrong again. Once again I threw the ball and once again the ball came flying at the speed of light back at me, this time hitting me on the side of the head smashing my glasses into my nose.

"SAVANNAH!" I hollered again. "Are you guys trying to kill me?" Both of the kids were giggling again.

"I'll pitch to her, Mom," Myles said, regaining his composure.

I went over to the front porch to sit down and tend to my new concussion. I'm heading out to Scheels tomorrow to buy my self some protective gear. I'm thinking the full catcher's pads and helmet should do the trick. Otherwise, this will be my new look:

What a Day!

I bought myself some very pretty flowers yesterday. So spring-y, so pretty. And today, I decided to take them to work with me to brighten up my desk. Of course I had already put them in water and dumped in the special packet of flower-keep-em-alive magic powder, so the water was coming along too. I drove with my pretty flowers safely tucked between my legs and drove carefully so as not to arrive to work looking as though I have a bladder control problem. Unfortunately, I had bigger problems awaiting me.

While, driving down Maple Street in way west Omaha, a turkey darted out in front of me, roadrunner style, and I slowed to let him scoot across. But, since turkeys are not the brightest of big fat delicious birds, it decided that it should attempt flight. That put it in a direct collision course with my windshield.

So, I think I killed me my first turkey. Weapon of choice = PT Cruiser. Some kids play PT Cruiser Bruiser. I play PT Cruiser KILLER.

So, it smashed into my windshield shattering it and sending tiny bits of glass all over the car. I'm not sure of the outcome for the turkey, but I don't imagine he walked away. Neither did my windshield. So, I pulled into a nearby parking lot and called my mom.
(At what age do we stop calling our mother's in an emergency? Probably never. At least for me. And, luckily she still comes to my rescue every single time. Thanks Mama.)

So, I got out, brushed off most of the glass on my clothes. Dumped the glass out of my shoes. And started swearing. A lot. There was a police officer sitting on the side of the road nearby. He didn't bother to come see if I was ok. I guess the stream of foul language flowing from my mouth left him with no worries about my well-being.
Anyhow, I drove myself to work, feeling the stares of all my fellow drivers. "Holy crap! Look at her car! There's a feather sticking out of her windshield!" I would rather get attention for being so cute and driving such a cute car, not the pitying and questioning glances I was getting. Once at work, I could feel every tiny piece of glass that I had missed in my shoes. Step. Stab. Step. Stab.

On the bright side, with all of that glass all over me, I sparkle like Edward Cullen. Maybe I'll be mistaken for a vampire today. I always suspected that Edward and I were destined to be together.

(By the way, I learned this week that Anne Bancroft was 35 years old when she played Mrs. Robinson. I am 35 years old. I could be Mrs. Robinson.)

Minute To Win It

Have you seen the show? We love it. It has some really great, fun games. The kids have been challenging themselves after watching the contestants play the games. This past Wednesday, we were watching the show and the contestant was playing "Don't Blow the Joker". She tried 3 different times, but failed. The way you play is by putting a deck of cards on top of a bottle. The bottom card of the deck needs to be the joker, face up. Then you have to blow the cards off of the top of the bottle, leaving only the joker. After watching the contestant fail the challenge, we pulled out a deck of cards and a plastic bottle and gave it a try. Myles did it on his very first try. Oh, if only he had been on the show he'd have just won $100,000!

So, we took a video of Myles and Savannah doing the challenge side by side and posted it on YouTube. Here is the video:



After posting it last night, I received an email from someone who works for the show. They want to use the video on the show! Myles and Savannah are about to become famous!! We are now going to be attempting all of the challenges and posting videos. I'm recommending that they do a kids show.