Sunday, July 26, 2009

I think I need a new purse

Well, I've been thinking for a while that I need a new purse. Maybe need isn't the right word, but I am tired of the purses that I have. It might be time to spice things up. A girl needs a new accessory. But, as I early moaned about, my car was only just repaired and the wallet is feeling a little light right now. So, maybe a responsible person would make due with her old purse. Since there really isn't anything wrong with it. Except that it is boring. (I'm borrowing that term from my daughter and most other children I've encountered around her age. It seems that everything that isn't meeting current expectations is BORING! So, my purse is boring.)
Anyway, having resigned myself to deal with the boring purse and be grateful that I have a car that is operational, I headed out this weekend to a Royals game with the entire family. My parents and my sister's family came along, too. Lucky for me, I got to sit on the end of our crew and no one seemed to need my attention. Like always, I packed a book in my purse. I always do this because you never know when the reading gods will shine down upon me and allow me a few minutes to read a book. And during the Royals game the gods shone down upon me. I think I spent innings 1 through 7 mostly engrossed in my book. (I'm reading Getting Warmer by Carol Snow and quite enjoying it.)
But, back to my purse. once I had pulled out my book, I set my purse on the seat next to me with it sitting open in case I needed something. I heard some screeching coming from a couple of rows in front of us and looked up. After watching some crazy flailing about, I realized that the crowd was actively avoiding contact with a bee. And that bee was headed in my direction. Remain calm, I told myself. The bee is not coming for me. My eyes darted all around trying desperately to locate the little stinger. Then, I spotted it. And it was headed straight for me. Of course. I attempted to summon up my acting skills and look like a mean wasp, which must have been somewhat effective because the bee veered left and landed in my purse. GREAT! I watched in horror as the bee burrowed further down into my purse, which was pretty much crammed to bursting as it was. Locating a stow-away bee was not going to be easy. But surely, the bee will realize that there are no flowers in my purse and head out. Right? Wrong.
Now for this problem, I blame Bath and Body Works and their flower scented lotions and hand sanitizers. They threw my bee off track and he was burrowing toward them. I watched my purse for several minutes before calling in reinforcements. B was forced to climb over Savannah and me to get face to face with my purse and carefully start evacuation procedures. Lucky for me, the bee was found and peacefully removed. I am a fan of bees and their pollinating ways, so I wasn't hoping for bee homicide, just eviction. And the mission was successful. But, now I was thinking that maybe I should go looking for a new purse. Maybe one that contains some sort of bee repellent. My current purse is yellow and may resemble a honeycomb a bit too closely.
Then, came today. And an awesome purse sale at JCPenney. They had some really cute bags marked down to less than $20! But, I called upon my inner will power, and put them all down.
And picked them back up.
Then put them back down.
And walked away.
I returned to my parent's house for our weekly Sunday family dinner and enjoyed an evening with the fam. Then I started working on rounding up the kids. They found their shoes and I grabbed up my purse and a shopping bag. I walked into the kitchen where my sister informed me that it looked like there might be some dog poop on the bottom of my bag. I cringed. First of all, I may have carried a dog poop bag all throughout the mall. Second, this may be ballpark spill debris that I may have been toting around for a full 24 hours now. I didn't look at my purse and thankfully, my mom came over with a wet towel to help me out. I looked out into the living room where my purse was sitting on the floor and discovered that I had set my purse down in a pile of dog vomit.
Yes, that's right, dog vomit.
I think that clinches it. The universe is sending me a sign. It is time for a new purse.

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