This morning I encountered a giant centipede in my bedroom. It casually strolled across the floor like it owned the joint, while I was laying in bed texting. I'm fairly certain it turned around, looked at me, gave me the finger with at least 3 of its hundred arms, and continued across the room. I screamed and grabbed the nearest shoe. Using some of my unfailing ninja skills, I leapt across the room, picked up a discarded top, and smashed the boa constrictor-sized centipede. It lay there twitching and I'm pretty sure I heard it cussing me. So, I smashed it again.
Sunday's off to a great start!