Near Death Experience

This morning I encountered a giant centipede in my bedroom.  It casually strolled across the floor like it owned the joint, while I was laying in bed texting.  I'm fairly certain it turned around, looked at me, gave me the finger with at least 3 of its hundred arms, and continued across the room.  I screamed and grabbed the nearest shoe.  Using some of my unfailing ninja skills, I leapt across the room, picked up a discarded top, and smashed the boa constrictor-sized centipede.  It lay there twitching and I'm pretty sure I heard it cussing me.  So, I smashed it again. 
Sunday's off to a great start!