Monday, September 28, 2009

Why me?

Sometimes things just suck. For instance, this has been my life for the past few days.
Synopsis of past 76 hrs. :
1. Told by son that there is a termite swarm on the back porch steps.
2. Go outside with termite murder on the mind and get creepy crawlies just at the sight of the millions of bugs. Spray the heck out of them.
3. Get approximately 25 bug bites from some never before seen tiny little black bug. Bites itch like crazy.
4. Watch an episode of Verminators with Myles which featured a woman's house infested with bedbugs. Get creepy crawly feeling again.
5. Take kids to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and consume a 25 pound keg of popcorn along with some reeses pieces.
6. Go to dinner at parent's house and wash down the 25 pounds of popcorn with a fried pork chop, creamy green bean dish, and buttery biscuits.
7. Go home to wear sweatpants and watch waistband expand. Roll myself to bed.
8. Wake numerous times during the night itching and dreaming of bed bugs. May have to buy new mattress, just in case. Vow to never watch Verminators again. EVER.
9. Get sliver while preparing breakfast of Puffy Oven Pancake for kids. Sliver won't come out, so I cover it with a band aid soaked in tears.
10. Realize that I forgot to purchase capri suns during the feeding frenzy at Target and have no beverage to put into Savannah's lunch box. Must rush children around so that we are able to leave early to drive down to Casey's, purchase a single Gatorade that costs the equivalent of an entire box of capri suns.
11. During rush out the door, Boris barfed all over porch. I chose to step over it and pretend I didn't notice.
12. Spent day at work itching stupid bug bites.
13. Returned home with kids to discover that B had decided to also step over dog barf and pretend not to notice it. Damn.
14. Went for long walk in attempt to cleanse self of this black cloud of doom.

It must have worked, because so far things are going better. I stumbled across this blog: which had me rolling with laughter. Annie Choi, you are hilarious. And much to my surprise, after having an instant compulsion to purchase her book, I found it already on my bookshelf waiting to be read. YIPEE! It is happily tucked under my arm at this very minute. It also has this adorable moving bookmark stuck inside it that I purchased over the weekend, which might be my favorite thing right now. Mine has puppies on scooters. Things are looking up.
And they had better stay up.

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